What the fuck am I doing wrong?
For the most part I’m a fairly confident grappler. The reason for this is because I’m often complimented on the mats for a number of things. I’m a stickler for technique, and I will drill something whilst other people are dicking about. That’s not to say I don’t dick about myself, this is a fun sport, and I can often be found laughing about something completely stupid. Whilst I’m laughing though, I’m still drilling, not sitting about on my arse watching the class go by.
There’s a number of techniques I love doing, and feel very comfortable with. I know at times my movement is really good, and other times, it’s sloppy. I often get lost in my own thoughts, objectives etc. Of late, I’m having a lot of trouble stringing things together. It’s like my mind isn’t working, when it should be. I’m finding this really frustrating, because upon reflection I’m in that state of mind whereby I can’t help but question, how the fuck are you a blue belt?
Now to many, it won’t be a big thing. But in Dundee, BJJ is still fairly new. So being a blue belt is something, there’s expectations of your abilities, and I still often find I’m just stale and clueless when on the hunt for that fabled tap. Recently I’ve been moving a lot, improving position, getting out of crappy places, but rarely do I ever look for a sub. There’s two reasons for that. One is the nice guy side of me not wanting to take the piss out of the newer guys, and the other is a lack of confidence when rolling with the more experienced guys. I don’t have a very competitive spirit when it comes to this sport, which will probably kick me in the balls later this year when I compete.
A friend of mine is looking to pick up Andre Galvao’s Drill to Win book, as Galvao is a fierce competitor. However I wonder if even that’ll change my mind on the mats. Maybe like certain boxers, I’m just one of these people that doesn’t have the killer instinct. And I’m starting to wonder if it’s something you can train. I hope so.
Class on Wednesday was good. I was in full on banter mode. So myself and my training partner had a very good laugh. We worked a takedown, and then ‘The Holy Trinity’. Identifying where to do what in the guard, whether an armbar, omoplata or triangle are applicable. We ended up doing a really good drill without your hands. Someone comes into your guard, and then they act as a live dummy for you, messing about with their arms, and you’ve got to actively recognise what to attack. So, armless you’re going for the position of each of the three moves. It was tiring, but I could see how beneficial it was to training my brain to instinctively go there. I ended up rolling for about an hour, with a fair few of the guys. I wasn’t tapped, but at no point looked for a tap myself apart from one opponent, a pro fighter sort. But alas, I ran out of time. I was working on taking his back to sink in a bow and arrow choke, but the gods were against me. The fucking cunts.
So what’s next?
Well June sees the start of competition training, as I’m due to compete in July. This will either involve shedding off a few pounds, which I’m not really into the idea of, or bulking up, which I cannot be arsed with. I’m at one of these awkward weights currently, I weigh 76.6kilos. So I’d have to cut a few kilos to compete there, or just accept that I’m going to be tiny in the under 82kilo cat’. Fuck that. Amusingly to look at, you’d probably stick me well under 70kilos, as I have a deceptive frame (that and a crowbar in my Gi). Training regime will involve more painful training, and some sort of weights I imagine. Bleurgh.
If anyone has any ideas to correct my rolling attitude, it would be appreciated if you could share them. I imagine this is just another phase, but I’d like to be back in the mindset of, I’m taking your arm home, sonny!