Being Humbled.

Hello fuckers. I’m here again. I haven’t written in a while, because as you know by now I’m a pretty lazy guy. So let’s get up to speed.

For weeks now, I’ve been pretty unimpressed with myself. I’m a stickler for technique, and I’d say without being arrogant I can pick up techniques pretty quickly. The difficult part for me however is then using those techniques whilst rolling. I often struggle to link techniques together, to properly flow, or generally to get off of my lazy fucking arse.

Today was different. Myself, Euan, Grant & Shaun decided to head down to Newcastle to train with some of Speedy’s killers. I’ve mentioned Speedy before, he’s a black belt under Mauricio Gomes, so his credentials are to say the least, fucking shit hot.

Newcastle is about 180 miles away from Dundee, so we left around 6am to make the 10am open mat session. Yes, that’s right; we’re fucking hardcore to the max.
Speedy met us with open arms (well, a handshake). He’s always a welcoming guy, and we hadn’t had the pleasure of training at his new facility, The Hurtlocker. It’s a basic setup, lots of mats, some graffiti and a great coach. A recipe for success, really.

Luckily a fair few guys showed up today. A few even traveled from Darlington (close to 40 miles away). Now with Jiu-Jitsu, and this bunch especially, there was no ego displayed today. Whether people were white, blue, purple or even the illustrious black belt (no brown belts were present). Today was something that Grant and I had wanted to do for a while, but it’s getting the stars to align for these things to happen, ya dig?

After introductions, we started with a bit of a warmup and then worked a basic guard pass (breaking the closed guard, passing to side, leading into mount). It built up quickly into a very effective technique. Time ticked along quickly, and we soon reached that wonderful moment where we were about to get our arses kicked. This is essentially what we came for. It’s the wake up call you need when you’re in a funk.

We were lined up, and paired up by Speedy. The first roll was pretty much for the benefit of the guests. I don’t think there were many on the mats, as whilst I was paying attention to my opponent, I noticed others watching on.
Today shit worked. I rolled with some great guys, and whilst I’m not good with names I’ll attempt some. Fahad, Dom, Jamie, Jimmy, Speedy and someone whose name I should know because I was partnered with him for longest whilst drilling. What a dickhead I am.

Anyways, I digress. Fahad and Jimmy were great rolls. I felt they were competitive, playful and varied. I’m not one for counting taps but I’m sure one or both tapped me. I felt I was able to link stuff together a lot better at this point. I actually did one of those fancy submission transition things that my brain just doesn’t understand a lot of the time. Wonderful. I think I hit a few sweeps, but generally just had fun.
Nameless man put me in a few compromising positions and I wilted under his strength. He was good fun to roll with, because you just have to roll so differently when you’re rolling with someone so strong.
Jamie’s a purple belt, and I haven’t actually rolled with him for years now. My first ever proper BJJ class was just over three years ago in Newcastle, Jamie was there and he handily beat me up. Today was a bit different, whilst he was in control throughout I felt I was able to put up more of a fight with him. Again, it was another fun roll.
I decided to be sneaky and grab a hold of Dom after he’d just rolled with Speedy. He’s another purple belt, but Speedy clearly did a number on him, because he spent the next however many minutes kicking the shit out of me. Nasty little locks here there and everywhere. I tapped, a lot. The bastard.

And now onto the grandmaster himself, mestre Speedy. The immovable object. Anytime I passed his guard, into side or wherever, I’d somehow end up locked up again. Now when I say I didn’t count taps, earlier I lied. With Speedy I kept a tally. In five minutes, he tapped me approximately 37,000 times, give or take a few. It was like rolling with quicksand full of fucking swords.

We finished the day with a Burger King before heading back up the road. These guys were great, and it was truly brilliant to have been humbled be each and every one of them. Have some pictures! I’m the ugly one in the purple Gi.

A Poem. The Group.


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