So last night I had a dream about Jiu-Jitsu. Not unheard of when you’re passionate about something, but it was surreal nonetheless. I’ve decided to share the inner workings of my subconscious with you.
The dream took place in my home gym, as far as I can tell. Speedy was up from Newcastle with his son Tyrone. The lights were on in the club, and we were all sparring. I’d just sparred a few rounds with Paul, a judo guy (black belt). So when it came to sparring with Neil a non-judo guy, I looked fantastic as I shut down his various attempts at the Uchi Mata. Dreams are fantastic for that. Think about it for a second. I’ve trained with a judo guy for a few rounds, and now I’m shutting down Judo. Brilliant. So, whilst I’ve never seen Neil do an Uchi Mata, I’m sure if he wanted to, he could throw me through a coffee table like Steven Seagal. And yes I’m aware Seagal does Akido, but he also invented all martial arts ever. Anyways, back to the dream!
Speedy was watching with a keen eye. He noticed I was shutting down Neil’s standup, and when we hit the ground (I pulled guard), we were just having a good fun roll. Back and forward, various positions etc.
After class, we were having a chat as you do and Speedy handed me a belt. It was a green belt. I asked as politely as I could, a difficult thing for me, “What’s this?” and he responded, “Oh shit, I’ve given you the wrong one.” he nipped off and came back with a purple belt. For a split second I was over the moon, until I felt it. It was silky smooth and very thin. I tried to put it around my own waist several times to no avail, it was difficult to tie as it was so slippery. I noticed that it was pretty dark for a purple belt, but I didn’t want to complain. I didn’t want people to mix me up as a black belt, because I’m not even ready for the purple yet! Anyways, I noticed this belt was really odd. I had a good feel of the material and noticed it started to come apart. It was a scarf with a floral design, bunched up to look like a belt. Naturally, I tried to speak to Speedy about this, but he was really pissed off. He basically said he’d gone to the effort of bringing that belt up especially for me, and when you’re given a belt from your instructor, that should be the belt you wear (Speedy’s not like this normally). I was pretty apologetic at this point, but there was no way I was continuing my Jiu-Jitsu journey by wearing a floral woman’s scarf around my waist. I offered to buy my own belt.
It was at that point Speedy refused to do business with me in the future. I have no fucking idea what he meant by that. Do business? What fucking business?
And then I woke up, perplexed. And now you’ve had a glimpse into the inner workings of my mind. You’re welcome.