Yo bitches. Yes, I’m still clinging to Breaking Bad like it happened yesterday. This will be a post about my history of Jiu-Jitsu kimonos. I probably could’ve covered that history in two sentences, but that would be boring. Actually I’ll give you the short version now, and you can read on if you fancy it. I’ve had three Gis so far, they’ve all made me look stupid. I’m buying two new ones. The end.
If you’re still here, thanks for sticking with it. For four years I’ve been doing Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and in that time I have owned three Gis. All of which, in some way have made me look like a fucking dickhead. My first Gi was red, my second was white, and my third one was purple. All from the same brand, because well, I’m easy like Sunday mornings. I’ll use this as an opportunity to sing the praises of Tatami Fightwear. They make lovely Gis at a reasonable price. With each new Gi, they’ve gotten better and better, quickly establishing themselves as one of the top players in the UK BJJ scene, and well probably THE WORLD.
I bought the red Gi as my first because it was being discontinued. I got it cheap and had the notion that it’d turn me into the Ken (from Street Fighter) of BJJ. It didn’t do that. It actually just made me look like a bit of an idiot. Luckily, it has since shrunk and no longer fits me! Hoorah. It sits in a cupboard, doing nothing. I should probably give it away really.
The second Gi I got was a white one. I decided to go from A2 to A3, thinking that would solve my shrinkage problem. This time, I thought I’d be the Ryu (from Street Fighter) of BJJ. Again, it didn’t fucking work. What is wrong with these Gis?! Turns out the manufacturer had improved, and the Gi didn’t really shrink much. As a result it’s just too big and uncomfortable for my liking, making me look like a hobo. When I say it’s big, the sleeves actually scream ARMBAR ME. This also sits in the cupboard, being loaned out to newbies from time to time.
Shortly after receiving my blue belt, I sat injured and bored in the house. Tatami Fightwear introduced their COLOURS range, and I shat with glee. The first colour was purple. My favourite colour. Like a spoiled teen girl, I just had to have it. So had it I did. It’s been my go-to Gi ever since. Worn to plenty of seminars, gradings, and inter-club competitions (because fuck you IBJJF).
For years I have had a problem though. As comfortable as the Gi is, again I fell into that same bracket I did with the red Gi. I look like a fucking dickhead. Repeated washes and mat use have muted the colour somewhat, and it’s now more of light mauve than the once brilliant purple it started out as. The reaction more often than not is to assume you’re a bit of a moron, and as you’ll probably know by now, I’m not moron. It doesn’t matter how well I tie my belt, or whether I can or can’t roll well, people see that purple Gi and then question my ability to drive, or walk, or eat. I’d be as well tattooing faulty goods on my chest, or getting a tramp stamp.
I’ve said for yonks that if/when I get my purple belt, I’d get a nice new Gi. One that hopefully doesn’t make me look like a tosspot. And as luck would have it, I earned that very honour just before Christmas. So fuck it I thought, it’s time to be spoiled. My dad agreed to buy me one for Christmas, and I’ll buy the other one (re-distributing Christmas cash later).
Both Gis are incredible. The sort of duds you’d expect to see on the Jiu-Jitsu catwalk, modelled by the likes of Clark Gracie (sponsorship deals aside). I’ve ordered the Scramble Sengoku and a blue Storm Trooper (yes, that really is the name). Both are brilliant brands. I’ve had various Scramble products in the past, and they’re all great. I’ve known for ages I wanted a Gi of theirs. Storm as most will probably know is a well respected brand, worn by many elite players such as Braulio & Victor Estima. They’ve got a pretty rad Christmas sale on at the moment, so I’m exploiting it with a friend (two for one on pretty much any Gi, we’ll get one each). Unfortunately I jumped the shark with the Scramble Gi, and bought it earlier this week. I just didn’t think BJJ brands would be doing the whole Black Friday mega-deal thing yet. Daft, but I’ll know for next year.
Anyways, here they are, in some of their glory. I can’t be bothered writing much more about them. I’m sure you’ll agree I’ll look less of a colossal fuckstick with these covering my bare bits, granted not as good as Braulio here or the burly beast modelling the Scramble Gi. The blue one will be mostly be for competition, whilst the black one will be for getting a sweat on, as it’s pretty heavy. This’ll hopefully negate the need to do weights/cardio, due to time restraints. Anyways, look at them. They’re so pretty. Goodbye.