I’ve always been a dreamer. My mind wanders often. Like most people I dabble with complete fantasy and gripping reality. I’ll fleet from thoughts of a nice house, a fast car and pools of money to visualising that moment when a black belt gets wrapped around my waist for the first time – but that doesn’t stop me thinking about the endless money woes, and trying to keep myself afloat by working far more hours than I should have to, due to past shitty decisions (let’s buy the fucking world!). The adventure marches onwards in my little brain. People do this shit all the time. I maybe do it a little more than most, and a lot of the time I completely switch off. If you catch me staring a hole in something with a look of vicious intent, chances are I’m daydreaming.
I find now the more I get into Jiu-Jitsu, the more dangerous my daydreams are becoming. I’ll be sat staring at some heinous cunt with an annoying laugh, and thinking to myself gleefully how great it would be to throw them to the ground and clock choke them with their own Parka jacket. I don’t imagine this is normal, but if it gets me through the day, I’m probably going to do it.
I sit waiting, brain on idle, going through the motions of kneebars, heelhooks and footlocks, and how I can impliment them into my game. Friends will give me a wave or a snap of the fingers to pull me out of it, but little do they know they’re now a visual aid to my perfect little Jiu-Jitsu fantasy. See you in hospital, loser!
There’s obviously a therapeutic side to this daydreaming of mine. Sure I could be thinking about turning your arm into a bowl of Rice Krispies (Snap, Crackle & Pop) but chances are once my little daydream is over, I’m not going to follow through on the thought. The deed is done, and by visually hurting you, I can move on with my day. There’s also the massive bonus that this has me thinking about Jiu-Jitsu far more often. With that, I think at least it’ll apply to training well because I’m more actively looking to play with ideas I may have conjured up earlier in the day when someone cut into the queue, forgot to hold a door open or whatever.
I hope I’m not alone in my psychosis here. I trust you’re all beautifully fucked up too, and if not – what the fuck is wrong with me?