Every so often it’s good to reflect on where you’re going, what you’re doing, and whether it’s the right thing or not. In this case, it most certainly is not. I reflected the other night on my Jiu-Jitsu, and it really fucking bothered me.
So strap yourself in kids, because I’m about to moan for fucking ages here.
I am the creator of my own demise.
Bit dramatic maybe? OK, I have caused my own regression.
In Jiu-Jitsu, a vital part of your training should be focused on forward momentum. That isn’t meant to be taken literally, although it’s certainly something worth trying to achieve. You should be progressing, and whether that’s slowly or very quickly, it doesn’t really matter, as long as you’re progressing. It’s when you don’t, that there’s a cause for concern.
It’s probably common in Jiu-Jitsu to become complacent with just showing up. They say the average person takes ten years to get a black belt, but that’s hardly an excuse to settle for average, is it?
I don’t train nearly enough, or even attempt to. I lack effort, and that shows when I step onto the mats, or crawl off of them, defeated.
A dawning realisation hit me the other day, whilst I was pondering all this nonsense, and what troubles me most is currently we have a few injured guys that have all the talent in the world, but just can’t train because of their broken-ness. They’re on a Jiu-Jitsu hiatus, and likely hating every fucking second of it. As active competitors they progress quickly. They love this sport, not unlike myself but I’m probably not even putting in 5% of the effort they have.
Now I can say that’s because I’m not a competitor, but really it’s because the name I have adorned myself, befits me so well. I really am a lazy grappler.
A hobbyist that likes to show up from time to time, to pretend I can hang with the good guys, but I can’t. Not really. I get smashed a lot, and whilst that’s never bothered me, as it would be stupid to have an ego when you’re training with so many that are far better than you, but that’s no excuse to have allowed myself to get this way. I used to put far more effort in. More often than not now, I’m a defensive shell, and lazy with it too. Scraping by, avoiding submssions, and not attacking. This is a shitty thing to do.
I have sculpted this regression of mine over time. There has been a slew of excuses over the past however many months. I’ve been sick here and there (that can’t be helped, I am merely a mortal man afterall). I’ve been working myself into oblivion, through the necessity of living, whilst maintaining a semi-decent lifestyle (feeding my computer game, Wild Turkey Bourbon & steak addiction). My mind is mush as a result. A pulp of grey matter. If this were the nineties, we could at least blame Marilyn Manson. It’s not the nineties though. Fuck sake. There’s also my fitness. I am really bloody unfit right now. Even the fatties are poking fun at me. I get tired quickly, and find myself physically exhausted because I’m just not training enough, or putting enough fuel into my body for when I do train.
I think it’s clear I need to wake up. Make a conscious effort to actually attend the classes available, and just work around those classes. This shittiness will pass, and the only person that can actually give me the kick up the arse I need is myself.
Last night required action, so I took my first step towards that kick up the arse. I asked a few guys to come train in the Gi, in prepartion for a little inter-club competition we’re due to compete at on Saturday. Three guys came down, Donald, Kev & Paul. We drilled a few techniques, but I really just wanted to get down to rolling. We rolled, and it was fucking hard, but thoroughly enjoyable.
I was exhausted at the end of it, and my knuckles on my right hand are all missing skin from the Gi burn. That’s when you ken*. THAT’S WHEN YOU FUCKING KEN*. I’m going to make sure I continue this attitude into Wednesday’s class, and I’ll even stay behind for some rolls afterwards presuming the guys are game. I need to stop being so fucking shit. Ya dig? I think I’m done now. Off you pop.
*ken is used in parts of Scotland instead of know. I really don’t know why, and nor do I care.