Bleurgh.

Tonight, I had the opportunity to teach Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu again. Every time I’ve been given the opportunity to do so, I feel I’ve stepped up to the plate pretty well, and taught a cohesive series of moves, that people understand and should be able to put to use pretty much immediately.

Tonight however I ditched that idea, and decided to just spew all over the mats in the hope that people would clean up after me. It was a fucking shambles.

I went to class with an idea in mind, but when it came to teaching the class, I immediately ditched it and worked something on the fly. There were a ton of new faces, and I immediately became anxious. I’m not one for anxiety normally, but tonight I just went blank. I had a brain fart, as it were.

I think my own view of my grappling abilities may have hindered me tonight (if I can do it, anyone can do it! because I’m shite). This was a pretty short-sighted view. I’ve been training for years. Sure I’m a hobbyist, but I’ve picked up tons of techniques, and thrown away tons too. I know better than to put on a class like that absolute shit-show this evening. I muddled my way through three very different techniques. I didn’t explain them well, or demonstrate them well, because when I looked back out to the class and tried to correct where I could, the moves still weren’t getting hit cleanly. This was a reflection on my own poor teaching tonight, rather than the classes’ abilities. In certain cases, you misjudge the room. And in other cases, you misjudge yourself.

I’ve already started to work on a lesson plan for the next time I teach, if I get hte opportunity to do so again. I refuse to have a repeat of that embarassment tonight.

BLEURGH.

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