The Almost Black Belt.

Hello again friends. A rather portly friend of mine literally begged me to do another one of these. I’ll not name names, but it rhymes with Boney.
It’s been too long (almost a year in fact).
So I figured I’d dust off the old typewriter, and see what flows out.
The answer of course is a load of old shite that probably doesn’t make any sense at all – but hey, it’s been therapeutic regardless. No harm, no foul.

Last year didn’t exactly close well for me, and this year hasn’t exactly started well. The world as I know it has unraveled, and it’s becoming increasingly more difficult to manage that. I have been filled with a weighty pain ever since my dad died. I’ve tried to manage that as best I can by having what I deem to be a normal life. My normal isn’t exactly remarkable, but it works for me.
I work. I train. I chill. That’s it.
Sure there’s other little things that ease the thick black tar that surrounds my heart, but for the most part I’m very set in my routine. I work a lot, but it’s manageable because I train a good bit too. This helps to work out any tension that’s there from the weekly rat race. I then have some downtime to manage any aches and pains from training. It’s a simple and often flawed system, but it works. Coaching fits in somewhere too, and allows me to take focus off of myself and try and better others.

I’ve found that dealing with the loss of a loved one really is all about distraction in moderation. Knowing when to do something, and when not to. The pain will always be there, but it’s how you manage that pain that’s important. I’m not able to manage that pain as well anymore.
I work from home, I chill at home and I no longer train. The days have all become one long miserable blur.
Pre-BJJ I would have thought this was the life. Barry the wee couch potato would be in his wee skinny/fat element, playing Xbox and avoiding the world forever.
Not now though, I fucking hate it.

I haven’t trained since March 8th, which for a so called lazy grappler is actually the longest I’ve been without training in the entire time I’ve done this funny old thing. That includes injuries. It’s a pretty stark contrast to my ‘normal’ routine.
I did a Gi class in the morning at Grant’s, followed by a NoGi seminar in the afternoon at DMMA (thon Raspberry Ape no less).
It was a really bloody good day. I didn’t know it’d be my last day training for the foreseeable future.

Y’see, it was around about that time that some creepy little virus started to take the UK by storm. The media prior to this decided to just have a good old chuckle at China.  Silly media.
Before you know it, like the latest hot new pop sensation, everyone was talking about it. I pre-empted the shit hitting the fan here and decided to take a week or two off to see how things were going to play out (any excuse eh).
This was less to do with my own health, and more to do with the health of some loved ones. Given half the chance, I would never stop training. It completes me like that laddie completed the other laddie in Brokeback Mountain. By god did he complete him. Over and over again.
The plan was for Covid to fuck off forever, but I’d still have gotten some much needed down time before getting back after it. The government decided that wasn’t to be. Jiu-Jitsu was well and truly fucked, not just for me – but for everyone (that plays by the rules).
It’s now approaching November and we’re really no further forward. Scientists and politicians just don’t mix well. It makes you wonder why we have bred politicians from families of politicians, taught in schools to create politicians instead of getting people to run the country that are actually educated in something that isn’t lies, deceit and being an entitled cunt.
Gyms either have to take one of two stances for BJJ; stupid no-contact classes or succombing to the seedy underground and delivering live lessons behind closed doors. CLOSE THOSE BLOODY BLINDS.
Those silly Tory fucks and the SNP have basically created real life Fight Clubs. I’m sure that wasn’t their intent when they shut the gyms for contact training. When the uprising is finally upon us (and as long as we’re within grabbing range) – the fat cats are fucked. Yer getting looped Boris, and I doubt you’re going to be able to stop it.

I’ve taken the suitably unhealthy stance of doing next to fuck all since March 8th. There was a bit of light exercise for a bit, but that died quickly. This has had a horrible affect on my mental and physical health. There has been a lot of take-aways, and lots of drinking. I’m basically a villain nowadays.
I consume whatever free time I have with playing the Xbox, angrily shouting and generally being an absolute fucking tyrant to be around.
Prior to Covid, my training was a bit more lax because my interest had waned. This was fairly grief driven and not actually a lack of interest in BJJ. I still love it, I just didn’t need it the same. It wasn’t my wonder cure then, but bizarrely without it now, I’m lost.
My coaching however was really coming into its own. I’ve coached for years with varying degress of success, but I feel in the last year or so before Covid, I’d begun to take some real strides. I’d developed my own style of coaching, taking bits from other coaches that I’ve been lucky enough to train under or with. People were following the material well, and I was showered in hugs and kisses from all the boys at the end of every class. It’s what every coach wants really. We’re not so far removed from the Greeks you know. We’re only a bit of nudity and some oil away from a bloody good time.

As my mental health has declined, I had to take a few steps to prevent further and deeper slumps into depression. I’ve mostly got things under wraps with some light exercise, less consumption of the bad stuff and a bit more openness to the fact that there’s a problem – I’m still miles away from actually being myself or anywhere near being a happy person. That shit takes time, yo.
Over the years I’ve put a lot of stock into Jiu-Jitsu as a device for physical and mental health – not having it has seemingly allowed all those cheeky critters inside my head to run riot. Going back, it can’t be everything though – that in itself isn’t healthy and I didn’t realise it at the time, because I ignorantly thought we were beyond a global fucking pandemic bringing pyjama fighting to its fucking knees (there’s a joke somewhere about how BJJ guys start on their knees anyways, but I’m not clever enough to make it). I’d hate to crumble again, whilst out with an injury or something. So there has to be balance going forward. This pish has taught me that, at least.

All is not right with the world currently – for most, that’s actually pretty hard to process. A bitter pill to swallow. A turd in your sausage roll. I’ll never shop at M&S again.
Whether you think Covid-19 is a supervirus out to destroy our very existance, or the government using Covid-19 as a vehicle to further their own crooked agenda (try to narrow it down to just one), one thing is true – this world as it is right now, is fucking bullshit.
If my glasses steam up one more fucking time in the Co-Op, I will kill everyone in stabbing range. Albeit blindly.
Naturally, it’s not all black and white – nothing ever is. There is grey in between, let’s not be ignorant to that – if you genuinely care about any of it though, no doubt you’ve already explored it to the fullest extent (that means you’re already a virologist or an epidemiologist / have watched some YouTube videos, or read some illiterate Facebook posts from a twat in Scunthrope that ‘gets it’ – the digital age is a fucker, isn’t it? All the information in the world at our fingertips, but no real direction on what information is correct).
The long term affects of this virus are going to be horrific, and that’s not just for the people that fall ill with it, or get long-covid as it’s so affectionately called.
The degredation in mental and physical health, as well as the cuts and delays to our health services is frightening and will no doubt be pushed aside for years to come. Covid is king now. Cancer, HIV, MS and a slew of other illnessness are now second rate problems in the eyes of medical professionals, because of the stress they’re now under due to the virus itself, and the restrictions of resources that the government are throwing about so haphazardly.

Some people I know haven’t taken my overly cautious approach to this Covid lark, and have continued to train. If you’re of the Fight Club variety, then cool – you do you. Have fun, enjoy it. Fuck you. FUCK YOUR FUCKING FACE. I’m jealous. I miss being on the mats so much. It is minging.
I’m not especially interested in what your reasons are. Some of you are athletes, some are in bubbles, some just don’t give a flippin’ hoot. Just be safe, yo.
I don’t personally have a problem with people training, or continuing to train through this absolute fucking chaos, it might well be the thing that helps you survive – but I do think we should respect the people out there that aren’t as equipped to deal with this virus, as you might be. So don’t fall into old habits.
The BJJ community can at times be wholly selfish. I’m guilty of it myself too. We’ve probably all trained when we’re under the weather, because we wanted to train. Sure with the common cold, it’s probably not a big deal – but it completely disregards the family and friends of your training partners, who might not want to get sick. We forget that, or at least we ignore it.
I’ve seen coaches, students, training partners do the same. Someone can have the sniffles, assume it’s allergies and plod on. Before you know it – Tom, Dick & Harry all have the sniffles too. I don’t know about you, but my gi isn’t made of ragweed (wee allergy joke for ya, I’m here all week).
It’s probably not advisable to be as lax with Covid, since we just can’t know who that’s going to impact.
If you’re well enough to deal with Covid, then crack the fuck on, but your pal, their family or another friend may have an unknown medical condition or hidden disability and might not be so lucky.
My worry currently is that I’ve seen seemingly healthy people implode as their body starts to attack itself through some genetic bastardisation that doctors just couldn’t spot until it’s just too far gone. A training partner and mortal enemy of mine suffered an auto-immune disorder out of nowhere. It brings me no end of joy to mock him for it, but also it’s absolutely horrible what they’re going through right now.
So whilst you may be fit as a fiddle, it’s the people you come into contact with that matter (even mortal enemies). The virus could be The Green Mile for one of them.
That doesn’t mean don’t have your little Fight Club – it means, don’t be a fucking dickhead about it. Get tested, be sure that you’re not impacting others. The vulnerable are among us. Weirdly enough, they’re people too (except you Daniel, fuck you!).

Currently, I’m not sure when I’ll be back to training. My other half is one of the aforementioned vulnerable people, so I’m being cautious until things normalise a bit more. I’m going to end up sloppily double legging someone in Tesco soon. No-one wants to see that.
Once I get back on the mats, I’ve no idea where I’ll be. Whether I’ll be able to just pick up where I left off, or whether I’m going to be the prick wearing a BJJ brown belt that rolls about like he’s been only disciplined in Billy Blanks Tae Bo. I feel further from my black belt than I ever have. It was never the goal really, I just wanted to get better at this shit – but it’s weird to be up there now, and be so far from it. If that makes any sense.

Anyways, I’ve ran out of steam. Thanks for reading some of the stuff that’s floating about my mind at the moment. A big thanks to Boney, for encouraing me to write again.

adeus.

Loss.

Hello friends, let’s talk a little bit about Jiu-Jitsu – the people in it, and why I can’t really be fucked writing anymore, or well anything.

I’ll start by saying that I love to train and to teach; both are extremely important to my mental and physical health. My diet for the most part is laughable and outside of Jiu-Jitsu I don’t really do much except work all the cunting time, play computer games and watch ER (it’s absolutely bangin’). Training suppliments my slovenly lifestyle. I’m a fat dude is a skinny body.
I’ve never really had that desire to do something outside of Jiu-Jitsu and whilst I’ve dabbled, the notion of lifting stuff or runnig is completely alien to me; I’ll just never understand why anyone would entertain either unless they were confronted by a ravenous animal – and even then you’re just delaying the inevitable. You’re going to be eaten, just let it fucking happen. Do the world a favour, and fuck off (your carbon footprint is probably disgusting).
I’m at my fittest both physically and mentally when I’m training often, hard and sparring as much as possible.

This year did start well – I’d been doing my usual of training like fuck, and running my own class too (covering other classes when needed). The problem is though, that I’ve picked up a lion’s share of stupid injuries, tons of colds/flus, and I’ve got this horrible little lump on my chest that needs to be removed (His name is Terry – surgery pending).
Something had to give, so after a really busy first half of the year – the bubble has well and truly burst. I’m training a lot less now, and it sucks.
Having focused a bit more on teaching in leiu of actual training, I’ve found that as I’ve gotten better at all of this Jiu-Jitsu shite from a mental point of view.
I understand and pick things up a bit quicker than I used to, which is good as it means I no longer have to kill myself with a hundred classes a second – whilst my body and head are in their current fragile state. Ideally, I want to get back to training all the time, but for now it’s just not possible.
I’m starting to believe the hype. Drilling is bollocks. Training effeciently is where it’s at. With that said, I still make my class drill – because fuck ’em. Stupid white belts.

Things began to fall apart mentally in August when I lost my dad.
He was killed in a road accident by another driver. There are days when that’s very real, and there are days when it just isn’t.
My current understanding is that there was no need for a criminal case, as the guy pleaded guilty. However there is still a civil case going forward, so there’s that to deal with.
If it weren’t for my other half, some family and Jiu-Jitsu (specifically the people in it) – I would be an even bigger wreck than I currently am. I’m on edge constantly – with outbursts of rage, sadness and a slew of other emotions.
Training and teaching affords me moments of distraction from myself and the pain that I currently carry with me. I am not an especially happy person anymore, and I’m not sure how long it’s going to take to getting back to being ‘normal’ again. The stages of grief were chaotic, to say the least.
I’ve never felt anything like that in my life, and genuinely don’t wish it on anyone else. I’ve lost before, but not like this. I’ve experienced the grief of long drawn out illnesses in the family leading to their eventual death, and a few family suicides but the trauma of this rocked my world. I was so beyond numb on the day that it happened, that I still taught a class that evening (with a little help from my good friend Grant).
I’ve settled for missing my dad just now. It’s shitty and it hurts but there’s little else I can do. I’m just going through the motions, as you’re meant to.
Loads of people that I’ve trained with over the years reached out to me, and offered support. They’re unlikely to know how valuable that has been to me but it has helped tremendously just to know that there are people out there that care. To those of you reading this, thank you again.

Since my dad’s passing, I’ve done what I can to take my mind off of things. I’ve attended a couple of great seminars, likely overworked and spent quality time with those closest to me.
David ‘Speedy’ Elliot has made a more regular appearance at DMMA and Origin Scotland in the last few months. We even had a double seminar day at both locations one Sunday, with a surprise in toe for a few members (grading, yo). The real joy on that day was seeing Sloany get his brown belt from Speedy. There are few people in this lifetime more deserving, due to the effort he puts in. He’s a tremendously good coach, and whilst we reuglarly rip the piss out of one another – we’re forever sharing ideas and techniques (discussing Chinese food).

I went to a Demian Maia seminar back in late August, and a Roger Gracie Seminar in October – both of which were cool opportunites to train alongside some legends, whilst learning simple effective Jiu-Jitsu. The Maia seminar especially was briliant. It’s up there as one of the best big name seminars I’ve been to.

I’d be a cunt (more so than usual)  if I didn’t mention what happened last weekend. My longtime coach Billy Beckers (DMMA founder) received his overdue black belt, alongside two other Origin members in Hubert (Newcastle) and Alex (Darlington). I can’t even describe how good that was to see, and be a part of. None of them expected it, because they all carry themselves with very similar values.
They’re humble, dedicated, providers of knowledge always putting their students first. Billy has an especially low self opinion, but really he’s one of the most technical and knowledgable coaches you’re ever likely to meet. He’s a sponge for the grappling and striking arts, having dedicated his life to this.
When I started, he was already a blue belt and he’s just gotten better and better with each passing year. He’ll do that belt proud, regardless of what he thinks of himself. Silly old bastard.

I’m not as present as I once was on the mats, but that will change in time. I’m currently just trying to drift from one positive experience to another, so that the hurt doesn’t completely strangle me from the inside. I’ll get back to being me one day, and I’ll get back on track with training, living and existing as I should be.
So much of what I do currently seems like a waste of time, or a pointless activity. I have to gee myself up for the most normal of things, otherwise I just won’t do them. Part of that is why I’ve made sure to invest time into these seminars, etc. It’s a way to keep moving forward, so that I’m not entirely trapped in a single awful moment.

Occasionally my mind will overhwelm and begin to spill out, if you’ve managed to read this to the end, well done. Thank you.

Bye for now.

Here’s some pictures.

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Kool-Aid.

Hello friends, foes and other hoes. A few of my closer friends have asked why I haven’t written anything for a bloody long while.
I’ve been pretty busy scrapping on the floor as much as I possibly can, but the honest answer is that I normally write when I’m in a darker place mentally with my grappling; if things are going shitty – it’s far easier to write something from a self-deprecating point of view. If they’re going well – it’d be all rainbows and unicorns – and that’s just not what I’m about, son.
When I started this blog shite, it was a way of venting my frustrations. There was also some catalouging of progress, etc. but now, I’m in a better place more often, so my frustrations are squashed when I next train. If you get my drift.

With that said, I wouldn’t be writing this pish if I didn’t have something to vent.

On a weekly basis I spend as much time on the mats as possible, sharpening my own skills, coaching and doing my best to positively influence others. I will not lie – This can be a fucking grind. I’m hardly a ray of positivity, and tend to lead in what could be called an informal manner. Bit of a bastard, innit.
The balance between training and coaching is a difficult one to strike, and people are vampires. You’ll quite often see coaches get bogged down by their own game, because they’re so focused on everyone else in the room (one of my head coaches is guilty of this, even though he’s a technical monster – you know who you are, you fuck).
When this isn’t your main gig, and you have to work for a living, being sensible in your approach to training is vital. I only have so much time in the week and with that it’s an almighty balancing act. Watching, thinking and doing Jiu-Jitsu is only enough if you’re investing your time wisely.

I’ve taken the following approach; I attend three classes a week and teach one class. I’ll usually try and muscle in something additional to that too, a bit of extra sparring for instance. That only accounts for a linear view of the learning / coaching split.
Being a senior grade comes with an expectation to lead by example and to impart that fabled ‘wisdom’ they talk about in the movies. So quite often, I’ll be coaching within classes in an assistive manner to the lead coach – or one on one with various students. My primary focus is still learning, and it always will be. I want to make it clear that when I get that illusive black belt in the years to come, I’m not going to fuck off into the sunset. I’ll still be in classes regularly, learning like a dirty little white belt – I’ll have just been here longer.
In addition to the learning and coaching, I try to roll as often as I can. I find it interesting to see what approaches people have to certain techniques. We’re all built differently, so there’s micro-adjustments that we all make to try and get shit to work. Some people kill you slowly and methodically. Others are bulldozers. Some wrestle. Some invert. Some people are straight up ninjas. Techniques are only guidelines in Jiu-Jitsu. It’s you that turns them into a game.

Over the years, I’ve invested a fair few hours into this hobby of mine.
My own progress aside, in return for my invested time I’ve seen countless people progress into absolute warriors, but I have also seen people come and go. That accounts for great talents, average Joes and the truly abysmal.
Of those that stick it out, again there’s a split of great talent, average Joes and somehow a small bunch of ham-fisted thundercunts (bless their hearts).
With that in mind, knowing who to invest your time into is difficult, because you just don’t know whether they’re going to stick it out. It’s an absolute fucking cunt of a thing. Everyone’s all about that #JiuJitsuLife throwing up selfies and shakkas when it suits their social media, but let’s face it our turnover rate at white and blue belt is bloody embarrassing in this Martial Art of ours. People can, and often do very quickly fade away into obscurity. That’s not to say I don’t love a bit of self-indulgent social media, but I train, so it’s allowed.

Having a pool of people you can rely on is seemingly hard to come by, even with a fairly large team. People break, they holiday, they family, they relax, and at one point or another I have been guilty of all of these things. Life somehow finds a way to ruin grappling. Let’s not forget I used to bin training pretty frequently for a new game on the XboxStation. Don’t be THAT guy.

I haven’t yet worked out how the hell we’re meant to get people to stick this shit out. I’ve seen so many brilliant grapplers dissipate into nothingness over the years. I also often look back on people with a what could have been mentality, that gets me down. I can control my own training, and I can try and make my own classes engaging, fun, whatever – but sometimes it just seems like we’re fighting a losing battle. People are going to quit, because people are shit. Also, there are people that you haven’t invested enough time into in the early days, that have pushed through the shit and are now high level blues and purples. What’s all that about?

As good as our current roster is, I don’t feel I can genuinely rely on a lot of these goons to stick around and continue to drink from the Jiu-Jitsu Kool-Aid.
My biggest worry currently is whether those that are on the cusp of new belts are about to fuck off into the ether forever. This is commonplace in Jiu-Jitsu, and one of the great ignored realities. I’ve walked a fine line recently, trying to ensure I’ve been good with the students and I’m not ignoring people or just rolling and engaging with the same people over and over again, as was the norm in the good old days – but I just don’t know if that’s enough.

I felt compelled to write this so that you know where I’m coming from. If you’re not engaged, please don’t just give up. Speak to a coach, speak to your training partners. There are slumps in this thing. Jiu-Jitsu isn’t easy. It’s a bloody grind with very little loot at the end for us hobbyists. Let’s try not to lose any more people from our fabled little Martial Art, stick this shit out and all be really terrible black belts together. I need people to roll with in the next god knows however many years.

Right, m’aff.

Elevation.

If you read last week’s issue of The Lazy Grappler, you’ll know that I was promoted – but I’m not the only cowboy in Dodge. Loads of people were promoted alongside me at the same time, or the following week too. It’s a fucking who’s who of stripes and belts across the board. Finally we’re in a position where there are tons of coloured belts on the mats. This has always been the aim, and it makes me so god damn proud of all your wee faces.

I’m not going to list everyone that was promoted, becuase it’s a massive list and more importantly; I definitely would forget someone, they’d throw their toys out of the pram, and it’s just not a can of worms I can be arsed with the ballache of opening.

For a long time, a lot of people in my wee club have suffered from the idea that promotions aren’t especially important,  because if you’re having fun and just enjoying doing what you’re doing, I guess they’re not.
When it comes to NoGi, you legitimately don’t know how good someone else is until you roll with them or see them roll. Gi is a little bit different. The senior grades have a big target on them, saying HEY! fucking look at this.
The belt should give you an idea of where someone is at. That strip of material along the waistline should be a measurement of a few things; attitude, discipline, technique, knowledge, time, etc. The further up the ranks you get, the more inherent trust others will put into you. The game changes. Your own progress now has a knock on effect to everyone else in the gym (that cares). As more people around you get promoted, people start to elevate their games across the board. It’s a very positive thing to see and experience. Plus for the team, the club or whatever, you have a far easier sell of the Martial Art that you’re demonstrating to masses.

Grading is a very personal thing. I think the right way to do it (and I may be wrong here), is to judge a person against themselves. That’s how I was graded. Are they a better version now, of what they were say X amount of time ago? When judging someone’s progression, you should be looking at their expression of Jiu-Jitsu, how they move, what their attitude is etc. Comparing two people like for like is difficult because of how different those people can be.
For instance, I am not a supreme athelete, I am not a fighter, I’m just a hobbyist that happens to have put a decent amount of time into this. My arse can still be kicked if/when I get lazy, but I do have an A-game that works very well against a lot of people. So I try to keep it real, yo. I am not Cobrinha. 😦

To wrap up for those of you who didn’t get promoted; be happy for those that did and stay hungry. By trying to beat the promoted people up, you are getting better. They’re also getting better and so on. It’s a ripple effect. We all elevate one another in this Jiu-Jitsu stuff, from white belt all the way to black. We’re all getting better together. There will come a day when you’re also promoted for the effort you’ve put in, and someone can start trying to kick your cunt in for the privilege. It’s the circle. THE CIRCLE OF LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE. x

Guillotines with The Raspberry Ape.

On Saturday, I packed my favourite pair of grappling shorts for an afternoon down at Dundee Mixed Martial Arts. Daniel Strauss was in town to show us all how to choke the fucking shit out of one another.

Last year, I travelled up to Aberdeen with a few pals to attend his butterfly seminar. The details were simple and effective, and it was great to spend three hours just going over one thing in great detail. It’s the sort of drilling you’re meant to do, but just don’t. Drill to kill and all that jazz. This isn’t my first rodeo, so I had a good idea of what I was in for.

This year, the same format returned. Daniel doesn’t fuck around, once there’s a quick head count down and it’s definite that there’s no other cunts due to show up, the class starts and you’re put to work immediately. There’s no warmup, because it’s summer. Really though, you’re about to drill for hours, at a very gradual pace, if you need a warmup you’re probably about to die. Sort your fucking life out, mate. Whipped cream on chips, you savage.

Each section is broken up meticulously and probably labeled appropriately. There’s a beginning, a middle bitty and an end. With some caveats thrown in, just to keep things funky. I’m downplaying things a bit here, because I don’t want to go into specifics and take money out the poor boy’s mouth. He’s clearly a very hungry boy. It’s shitty to chuck lesson plans online, when he’s still touring the seminar.

What I will say though, is that I am wholly shit at guillotines (or at least that’s how I felt at the beginning), but after three hours of practicing them and listening to the concepts and ideas that Daniel has about them, it really fucking gelled with me. I legit think I can guillotine anyone now, which is a gross over-estimation of where I’m at – but that’s not the point I’m making here. The point is, for £25 this is probably the best seminar I’ve ever been to. I fucking loved it.

Like most top black belts, he really takes the time to ensure you’re picking up the correct details, and he does this by observing everyone in the class, listening to your gripes and correcting them as you go. You’re encouraged throughout to ask questions. You don’t move on until everyone’s getting it, or at least that’s how it seemed. Granted there were a few right dumb fucks in the class, so it’s hard to tell. We might have been there all fucking day had he waited until EVERYONE got it.

I’ve been playing with the setups this week, and even when the success isn’t quite there yet, it’s ingrained in my brain. I just need to keep practicing and before you know it, I’ll be snatching up motherfucker’s necks whilst wearing only my rainbow coloured godzilla spats. That shit’s scary, yo.

Daniel Strauss is probably one of the nicest black belts you’re likely to meet, fuck he’s probably one of the nicest guys you’re likely to meet. He’s approachable and friendly with everyone, and there’s a real genuine quality to his character and coaching. You already know what he’s capable of, but his warmth as a person really hammers it home (even when he’s asking if Scotland has iPhones yet. Motherfucker). If you get the chance, look him up on Instagram or one of the numerous grappling shows he’s been on – and if you’re interested in learning how to get good at grappling, go to one of his seminars before his broken body catches up with him. I’m in my thirties, and shit’s getting real. He’s fucked.

Here’s some pictures of The Raspberry Ape and I, and the rest of the group. Don’t play spot the dumb fuck, it’s nasty.

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I’ll be back soon for more shit talking. Toodles.

 

Not the Master of the Universe.

Being a professional ass kicker has its draw backs you know. For starters, I don’t get paid, so I’m not actually a professional.
I’ve been doing this shit a while, and my once vibrant purple belt is starting to look a bit worn – to say the least. My stripes have fallen off so many times, I’ve stopped putting them back on (a clean belt, is a healthy belt).
I’m training frequently, I’m coaching frequently and I’m doing what I can to ensure the betterment of other people’s games, in addition to my own – but I still get really pissed off all the time, that’s the bit you don’t see. Jiu-Jitsu can be a pain in the fucking arse, and not just for white belts.

After I roll with someone, if you’re doing something that could do with a bit of work, or if you specifically ask, I’ll usually use my rest time between rounds to try and help you by explaining positions, techniques and concepts. I’ve been there, I’ve fucked up a million times before – so I try to give a little back. My coaches have done the same for me in the past, so it’s become a part of my grappling ethos.
Sharing knowledge in anything can be interpreted positively or negatively if it’s not asked for. My intent is always good, but I guess it’s not always seen that way at times. The idea is to try and nurture people, so that they get better and in turn so do I – however it doesn’t seem to be working. I’m still seeing people make the same mistakes over and over again, and my own game is still a lazy mess of shit. When I apply myself, I’ll happily show you around sweep town or submission city – but I wouldn’t be the lazy grappler if I applied myself, would I?

On Friday, I ventured up to Sloany’s for a bit of NoGi. We worked on the head and arm choke, the north south choke and a choke from scarf hold that I hadn’t seen before (very similar to Josh Barnett’s finish of Dean Lister at Metamoris yonks ago, but there’s no crank).
Afterwards we rolled. I fucked shit up. Flowing between sweeps and submissions like I actually know what I’m doing. You have these days now and again, where you’re aware that you’re not untouchable but you just roll really REALLY well.

On Saturday, I attended a charity competition in Dundee. I missed the last one and felt shitty about it, so I made sure to get myself along to this one. It’s especially important to show your support for these events when so many people you know have worked hard to put it together, and the cause itself is something that affects people you know. A friend and training partner of mine has a son with Duchenne’s, which is a form of muscular dystrophy. I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult that is currently, and how difficult it may be down the road, but what I can do is donate to a good cause so that treatments are researched and explored for current and future generations.

I’ve never competed in NoGi before, and my competition résumé in the Gi isn’t exactly glowing either to be honest. For me, Masters of the Universe (yes, that’s the real name) was about three things – donating to good cause, conquering competition anxiety and seeing how I got on.
The results were mixed. I got bronze, but it was a default medal as the third place match didn’t take place. My opponent had to pull out. Shit happens eh?

In my first match, I was against one of the Results Gym guys. They’re good wrestlers, with a Catch focus.
He didn’t shoot, just went straight to a body lock and worked to my back – I just dropped, rolled under myself and took guard. I feel safe in guard. He was wearing wrestling shoes, so had a lot of purchase on the mats to try and drive forward and pass my guard. My guard’s pretty solid, I’d say. I was lazy with my attacks, but I was making sure I was maintaining a solid and difficult to pass guard. I think he passed to half guard at one point, but I recovered back to z-guard then full guard. Biding my time. I wasn’t really interested in inherent risk, so I didn’t look for sweeps – I was just monitoring hand positions and trying to gauge when would be best to throw up a triangle. Once I had the triangle in place, I played about with the usual shit, pulling the head etc (thanks Adam) but I didn’t have the angle completely right and wasn’t about to adjust it in case I lost the position entirely. So I started playing with his trapped arm. The pressure I can keep with my legs is decent enough, that I’ll be able to manipulate the position into a pretty tight armbar. That’s how I got the tap.
At any point, he could have looked for the slam but I heard later that he didn’t want to be a dick. That’s appreciated, because I would have let that shit go so fast.

My second match was against the day’s double gold medalist. He won the men’s -80KG and the absolute by taking everyone into EBI overtime. In the match itself, I was super lazy – thinking I’d be able to get away with the same shit I always do. I was a bit thrown at the start of the match when he requested no heel hooks, and I basically abandoned whatever leg lock game I have, which on reflection was pretty stupid as I have kneebars and straight footlocks for days. He tried setting up a few submissions on me. Some Americanas and a head and arm choke, iirc but I never felt in danger. Before I knew it, I’d squandered the match and was in overtime. He won the flip, and attacked first from the back. I tapped to jaw pressure like a bitch after 38 seconds (it felt like hours).
Before appropriately thinking about the situation, I took his back and went for the choke myself. I managed to work my forearm under his chin pretty quickly and had my arms in the correct position but this dude would not die. That’s kind of his thing.
Had I rolled to his belly, or taken spiderweb instead would things have been any different? Probably not, but I’ve got something to work on now – so that’s positive.

I’m relieved that I didn’t embarrass myself too much, at least taking a victory in one match – but I was deflated and sore by the time the absolute came, so I swerved that, and enjoyed the remaining matches of the day.
I need to hold myself to a far higher standard than I am currently. I’m so fucking lazy when I roll it’s ridiculous. I thought for the most part I’d corrected a lot of my bad habits, but the weekend proved that not to be the case. In your own club, you get used to other people’s games fast, and I know I can get away with a very lazy game against a lot of people – so they’re very much self-inflicted traits.
One thing that was good though, is that I wasn’t nervous. There wasn’t the usual anxiety I get when I’ve competed in the past. That could be because I’ve grown, or it could be because I was in a safe space surrounded by good people. Comments afterwards were positive, and I appreciate that – but I know now what to work on. The work began yesterday, a day removed from the competition. A taught a pretty solid class, that I’m going to revisit again on Wednesday and tonight’s rolling night – with me taking the lead. Ergo, my rules FUCKERS.

I’d like to give a mention to Fenrir Thorvaldsen and Alistair Anderson for putting on such a well run show. They both promoted it well in the lead up, and with that quite a bit of money was raised for Duchenne’s.
Thanks to all the sponsors that made it happen too, there’s too many to list – but The Dungeon Bar is worth a shout, for being cool.

Here’s a donation page, if you’re interested.

https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-display/showROSomeoneSpecialPage?pageUrl=TeamDex

John Danaher: The New Yorker.

This is a fantastic piece, giving a slight insight into the Danaher Death Squad. Give it a read. and I’ll continue back to my waffling ways soon.

John Danaher, the Jujitsu Master Turning an Ancient Art Into a Modern Science.

The Dark Arts and Other Wares.

Hello again bastards. I’ve been in hiding for a while, toying with writing bits and bobs, but the bug just hasn’t been there. Training has continued as it normally does, but to the point where I’m constantly thinking about training, and the idea of also writing about training makes my heart ache. Plus, writing with mangled BJJ hands just isn’t cricket.
I’ve just finished up my latest stint, and I’ll be taking a much needed break until Saturday, so I figured I’d use this as a prime opportunity to bring you up-to speed since my Birthday.

Since my last post, I’m still training more Gi than I am NoGi. It’s how my work/life balance fits and it’s suited me this way for years. If I could train every single day like a grappling mega-beast (alternating between Gi and NoGi) I would; but I can’t, so there’s no point on dwelling on it. What I need to do is  make what training sessions I do count. All mat time is valuable, and should be treated as such. Sadly this means I act the cunt a lot less on the mats. BOO!

Being aware of the fact that I can’t just be good at one part of this fabled art, I’ve made a considered effort to train NoGi with the right people, so that my game elevates quickly. The results so far have been really positive. Or at least the feedback has been.
I’ve been working with our local NoGi coach/Norse God; Fenrir Thorvaldsen. Getting a gauge on his leg lock system, and working both defenses and attacks from various positions. We’ve crammed detail into these short sessions, and I’ve done my best to ask the right questions to extrapolate as much data from that big juicy head of his as possible.

The results whilst rolling have been tremendous. There are leglockers at my club that have gone from completely dominating me in the leglock game, to having a battle to a submission. I’m a still a realist, I’m not winning these exchanges currently but my understanding of The Dark Arts has come on far enough in a short period of time, that I’m making these exchanges difficult for my opponents. It’s no longer a whitewash, and I’m able to have fun with that aspect of grappling. Before they’d setup the heel-hook, I’d tap. Rinse. Repeat.
I’ve started to understand leg pummeling, auto-pummels, ankle control etc and how they fit into the big bastard leglock jigsaw. With more time on the mats, and a better understanding of tying these movements together I know that I’m going to be leg-locking the fuckers that are trying to leg-lock me. That’s pretty fucking brilliant, and exciting.

In addition to Fenrir’s guidance in the last month, I’ve also attended another Speedy seminar. Learning some ‘flying’ armbar attacks, and re-working some nasty lapel trap chokes. It was great to refine old techniques with new details.
After the seminar, I had two really good rolls with Speedy. One blindfolded, and one with my eyes piercing through his soul. He absolutely obliterated me with gentle ease. When I was blindfolded, it felt like I was rolling with two or three men. It was a truly horrible experience. All gaps were filled, there was little room to breathe, etc.
When I had my eyes open, it allowed me to shift my focus to his feet/legs. Speedy’s a leg-locker by trade, so I knew I wouldn’t really get anywhere with my attacks/attempts but it’s a fun new approach that I’m playing with, so I had to try and get a hold of him in a new way. All it did was open me up to armlocks that I never thought were possible.
After the rolls, he complimented me on how technically I’d rolled, but I didn’t feel like the strongest swimmer that day, because I was clearly drowning.

Last week I taught some classes at our little club in Billy’s absence.
I feel like my coaching has finally come onto where it should be. I’m actually confident in my own abilities, the techniques I’m teaching and leading a class. Normally I’d be a mess without the support of certain peers, but I finally feel comfortable in front of the class, leading them into battle. This has been helped by assisting Grant as he leads the classes at the Hut. Adding details, refining techniques for the class, and just giving him a breather when he’s getting battered from a kid or something.
I’m going to carry this mentality on at the weekend, when we have another bi-annual inter-club. I want to make a considered effort to coach from the sidelines, because I’ve neglected it before, and my training partners deserve better than that. These guys are family, and it’s only fair that I support them as best I can, like I’ve been supported in the past by others.

Before I go, I’d like to celebrate a cracking day off. I trained three times today. My first session was at 10am at Navarro’s Fitness & Fighting Gym with Danny and Grant. We rolled and dicussed/tried techniques.
My second session was acting ute for Danny’s private with Fenrir.
My third session was my regular Wednesday BJJ under the tutelage of Billy at DMMA.
I feel truly fucking knackered right now, but in the best possible way.
It was a great way to spend my day. I enjoyed each individual session for different reasons, and really wish some bastard would just pay me to do this 8 hours a day. I’ll need at least £35,000 a year please. Any takers? No?

Right, fuck off then.

Fenrir.

The word Fenrir comes from Norse Mythology, you can look it up if you feel so inclined. I’ll save you the bother though, it basically means Wolfbastard.

That’s exactly what Fenrir Thorvaldsen is. He’s a total fucking Wolfbastard of grappling. I’ve been fortunate enough to know this man for around 7 years now, and for the most part I’ve completely taken that for granted. I’ve dipped in and out of his classes for years, preferring a more Gi-centric approach to my training. Fenrir doesn’t do Gi. He has in the past, but I’ve never seen him wear one in the flesh. His strengths are NoGi, in what can be best described as a hybrid grappling style. He’s been training so long (36 years) that he can easily point out what’s shit and what isn’t. He uses elements of Catch As Catch Can, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Judo, Folkstyle wrestling, Sumo (when he was fat) and well you name it he’s probably used it, played with it, added it to his game or disregarded it altogether. The fact is there is no supreme grappling art because it’s all very much attribute based, as most Martial Arts are. X will beat Y if X is a massive monsterous cunt. Y will beat Z if Y has greater technical knowledge, etc.
It’s knowledge vs braun and very much the inbetween bits too, to put it simply.

I think I first met Fenrir back in January 2010. I’d briefly dabbled with training elsewhere at another local club that now specialises in K1/Kickboxing. They did MMA previously, but their strengths have always been kickboxing. From training there for a while, I had this notion that I could grapple. It was the bit of MMA that I wanted to understand, so that I can properly enjoy the sport as a spectator. I had no illusions of ever doing MMA myself, because the idea of getting my head caved in, properly seriously frightens me. I just wanted to get to a point where the boring bit of MMA made sense (the grappling).
So when the long rumoured DMMA opened, I went over with a curious eye, and as I’m sure you can imagine the rest is history. Needless to say, I don’t find grappling boring anymore. It’s my go to therapy.

I remember the first time I met Fenrir distinctly. Billy (one of the other coaches) was taking a packed NoGi class, and Fenrir was just there looking laid back and all dreadlocky. There were plenty of familiar faces, and I felt right at home quickly. That was probably a big part of my immediate downfall.
At the end of the class, the ritualistic rolling started. I’m not sure who asked who, but I ended up getting to roll with Fenrir. The clock started, and he immediately started working an X-Guard. I had no clue what an X-Guard was at this point, so in my usual serpeant laced tongue I may have thrown some shit his way about how it wasn’t doing anything. I think my  words were along the lines of, “Is this meant to be a stretch or something? Because I’ve already done that before class.” His head shifted to look at someone else nearby, they locked eyes in a knowing way. They both knew I’d fucked up, but I didn’t. Fenrir then swept me through the centre of the earth. I could feel the Earth’s core burning my arse hair to a cinder. From there, he moved to side control and swiftly into North/South with such ferocity that my contact lens found its way onto the side of my eyeball (a horrible fucking feeling that I don’t recommend you try). That was the first time I felt the Monson choke. After the roll, I was told by someone else that he’s one of the other coaches there. So he probably thought I was a massive fucking cunt from day one, but hey that’s life – I wonder if I ever apologised to him for being a prick? If I didn’t he’s had plenty of time to learn that it’s just my way. SORRY FEN.
Apology or not, I was hooked. I hadn’t been so quickly dismantled whilst grappling before. It was a fresh feeling. I was still very much a novice, but it wasn’t a pressure I’d ever felt before. I knew that DMMA was going to be my new home away from home.

Fenrir over the years regrettably has had an injury or two (he was basically Mr. Glass from Unbreakable). He still took the NoGi or the affectionately dubbed Submission Wrestling classes as he called them, and showed a ton of techniques but we weren’t really getting to see what he was capable of. The back of your mind knows what he’s capable of, but you quickly forget/neglect those thoughts when you don’t see a coach sparring alongside you.
It’s what happens when your life revolves around grappling, fighting and extreme sports. He’s basically one of those adrenaline wankers that are all over YouTube now.
In the last year though, he completely changed his approach to his own rehabilition and started doing Hot Yoga; with that, he lost quite a bit of weight and has strengthened ligaments, tendons, muscles in areas where he was probably weakest/or most vulnerable. He’s able to roll again.  Being honest, I think I preferred rolling with him when he was 90KG or thereabouts, because I could blame my size and his strength for his absolute domination. Now at 74KG, I know he’s just techniquing the fuck out of me. He’s a complete Wolfbastard to roll with. A relentless, technical, snarling beast of a shit, but they’re definitely the best rolls I’m currently getting. I’m getting pressured in ways I didn’t know were possible, and I’m learning on the fly through threat recognition. My leglock game is basic, but through Fenrir’s insistent attacks, I’m starting to learn how to defend subconsciously. That’s the sort of coach that he is. Complimentary, brilliant and he’ll help you along the way with your roll. Also helping you after the roll, etc. Why have I been taking this man for granted for so long? Injuries aside, I could have been taking a more concerned effort to learn from him over the years, in addition to my focus on the Gi with Billy, Speedy, etc.

My Gi game and my NoGi game are worlds apart as a result. I wouldn’t class myself as a great grappler by any means, but I have a far greater success in the Gi than I do NoGi. Recently, I’ve been trying to balance that out with extra NoGi rolling sessions. That’s where Fenrir’s top students come out to play, and fuck me up with stuff I should know but just don’t. Getting a tap off of one of them feels very much earned. It’s also allowed me to re-focus my training and make sure that Fenrir is very much aware of his part in making me the grappler I am today (he’ll probably want to abandon ship now).

This week I’ve had some time off work to chill. So I wanted to grab a couple of private lessons with Fenrir to make some adjustments in my game. I’ve worked a ton of stuff this week in addition to my usual training regime; and whilst it’s a lot to take in, for some miraculous reason it’s gelling with me. Good coaching I guess. I’m pretty sore as a result though, but it’s been a fucking blast being able to train during the day with a grappler of his calibre. Even the rolls before and after, whilst absolute drubbings are an incredible learning experience in which I’m able to try new shit, old shit and just see what works and what doesn’t with someone of his  grappling acumen. I’ll play my game, whilst he plays away at his own game, colliding somewhere in the middle with a yelp or two along the way. On Monday after working some super top secret stuff, we rolled for about an hour, filmed it and it helped serve as a great stepping stone of things to work today. We’ve already put in place adjustments to strengthen my game where it was weakest, and I’m looking forward to continuing to work those aspects so that the next time we roll, I might be able to give him a little hell back for a change. That’s how this works isn’t it? We learn from the best, so that we can crush the best.

If you’re ever in Dundee, or the surrounding areas (Tayside, Fife etc) and you’re looking for a brilliant grappler with a ton of knowledge, it’s a disservice to yourself if you do not seek this man out. You can find him on Facebook and Youtube.

I’ve rambled enough now. I’ve got another class to go to. Toodles y’all.

Progress.

On Saturday, I decided to get my arse into gear and go back down to Newcastle for another of Speedy’s bi-annual grading days. I hadn’t been down in a whole fucking year. Which is pretty shitty on my part but it couldn’t really be helped due to problems with anxiety and health. I say arse into gear, I had to be coaxed into going but hey. This is a big ‘un by the way, sorry about that.

This time last year, I had my arse well and truly punted all over Tyne Met by Hubert and Fahad. Their technique was far superior to mine, and I felt embarrassed by even being there. You’re inevitably going to go to battle with people that are better than you, but that’s the first time I just wasn’t able to put up any fight at all (that I can recall). It was a whitewash, and I’ve felt shitty since.

Fast forward to May and I couldn’t attend the grading for two main reasons – I was having issues with my stomach (AGAIN!), and I really couldn’t face the idea of getting absolutely obliterated in front of my peers again. I’m not what you’d call a competitor. I was never athletically gifted as a child, or even inclined to be (save for riding my bike fucking everywhere, and being shite at football behind the park). It wasn’t until my adult years I actually found something physical that I genuinely fell in love with, in grappling. What I haven’t fallen in love with of course, is the peaks and valleys that go with it. There’s trippy highs, agonising lows and the plateaus in between. That’s some difficult shit right there. When you’re not an athlete, the highs are few and far between, so you’ve got to push through all the bullshit to get there.

Since last year’s grading, I’ve missed quite a bit of training to start the new calendar year, so that I could focus on fixing the physical ailments that governed my abilities (or inabilities, as it were) on the mats. With a bit of help from the doctor, I’m now in the best place physically I’ve been for years (my fitness is still shocking, because I’m still pretty fucking lazy). I don’t worry about pain or discomfort when going to training, and I can actually just focus on the training. So that’s great. Leading up to this grading, I’ve been far more attentive in my training – taking in as many classes and sessions as I can with a busy work schedule.
I’ve been able to teach here and there, and most importantly I’m not focusing entirely on Gi training. I’ve been sparring NoGi  and picking up bits and bobs from the people I’m rolling with, and the coaches around the NoGi scene. This approach and mix of training partners has allowed my game to come on from where it was last year. I feel confident on the mats in my own club, and that’s pretty cool because it took a long fucking time to get there.

Where I still don’t feel confident is the competitive scene. I’m well aware that a friendly inter-club shouldn’t be considered competition, but it is. Doing poorly there, reflects poorly on the training and learning I’ve been given over the last year. I’m not only embarrassing myself, but my coaches and training partners. So that’s not a position I like to be in. That’s where my anxiety stems from. Looking foolish in front of my peers, when I believe I can do better.

This year it took me quite a bit of convincing to get back down to Newcastle for this grading day. Strangely enough I feel comfortable as a purple belt now, but when you’re pulling up the ever lengthening measuring stick of where you stack up against other purple belts, I still consider myself wholly shitty at this sport. As a result, going to war with other people my age/weight/level crumbles me. I’m fine until I step on the mats, but it’s then that I just shell up into oblivion. If I’m having a friendly roll, I’m cool. If I think competitively, I shit my pants.

My other half was very instrumental in pushing me towards overcoming this anxiety. I also turned to Speedy, Sloany and Grant who all delivered choice words to help me take the pressure off of the inter-club. I felt suitably relieved and actually happy about going down to Newcastle to support my teammates.
I’d shifted the focus off of my own journey, onto my peers. I want to see them do well, and to do that, I need to be there.

The Dundee and Perth lot did really well. I took the side of the mats, and coached where I could alongside other seasoned Jiu-Jidiots. Adam, Ronnie and Sloany were the standouts of the day, all getting long overdue shiny new belts (blue, blue and purple retrospectively). Something I really appreciated from the Newcastle and Darlington lot was their coaching instruction when the Dundee and Perth guys were facing each other. Naturally at the side lines, you can’t pick a side when you know both parties involved well, so it was great to see other guys taking that on, and helping out.

For my own match, I faced one of Dom’s up and comers ( a 10^th Planet Purple belt). As soon as Dom approached me about it, I lost whatever spark I had for my proposed match. I was meant to be facing familiar ground, and now I was facing the great unknown. Scary. I could see him warming up, and I was already defeated mentally. I needed a moment to collect my thoughts and get my shit together. As I was walking over to the other mat to see how Sloany’s match was going, I was called up. This was it. Me vs Mighele right fucking now. I faced him, shook hands, bumped fists etc and he went for the takedown. I just did what I could, where I could to stop his onslaught of attacks. In my mind’s eye there were scrambles, but I don’t know if I’m remembering the fight better than I actually did, because of the positive comments I received afterwards. At one point, he had me in an armbar that I was later told the ref was on the verge of stopping the fight over, but I just waited until I could find my way out (a big thanks to those who were coaching me from the sidelines at this point. I distinctly remember hearing Ant). Once I’d worked my way out of the armbar, I managed to scramble to my feet before getting tripped again.
I attempted a single butterfly sweep, but failed miserably and ended up in a dorsal-fin kimura. This wasn’t good, but I wasn’t tapping. Mighele adjusted and lead me into the reverse triangle. When he pulled my arm across my neck, I was truly fucked. I was done. Life was leaving my lungs and I tapped.

In all that though, I felt calm. I don’t think I lost my cool, became panicked or embarrassed myself like I did last year. Sure, I was bettered in the fight but I actually had fun going against Migele, and would like to do so again one day, regardless of the result. If I’d had a moment to collect my thoughts, I probably would’ve picked more faults in my game, as I often do. Afterwards, I spoke with Migele and Billy (another of Dom’s guys). It was a good reflection on the match that just happened, and also part of what makes this sport, and these inter-clubs so great. There’s no animosity between anyone. It’s not the demon filled hell pit I seem to have in my imagination. I shouldn’t be fearing this like I am, or suffering whatever anxiety I do. I need to move on. I need to move forward.

Next year, I’m going to take a more active approach to competing. It’s something I’ve severely neglected in Jiu-Jitsu and part of what I believe makes me such a shitty purple belt. The first competition I have my sights on is in February, and a lot of guys from the club are already keen to go. I’m going to have to get out there, and start getting my arse kicked by people that people that actually want to kill me, so that when it comes to the inter-club I can better make the distinction between war and fun.

I also had some great rolls with Big Show, Dom and Speedy on the day that deserve a mention. Dom and Speedy toyed with me, like the devious bastards they are. Speedy gave me a few things to work on, so that’s cool.

I’m aware I’ve rambled throughout this piece, but that’s entirely the point of this blog. I have to be able to put down the good, the bad and the ugly. The big difference with this year’s ‘performance’ is that I’m raring to go, and ready to get back on the mats tonight. Which is exactly where I need to be to continue improving. I’ve made progress in that defeat, rather than shying away like I did a year ago.

Off you fuck then.